Hilary Jacobs Hendel is a psychotherapist in New York City who helps her clients heal and transform themselves by using the science of emotions. Her expertise is in AEDP, which stands for Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy.
She suggests that it’s often a comfort for teens to be able to be angry at their parents; that when parents make decisions for their kids that are not popular, the kid can be angry, but they won’t feel shame about their choice because in some circumstances the decision needs to be made for the teen.
She counsels parents on how to “be there” for their teens and at the same time be able to step back enough to let the teen feel the support and ask for it if needed. She finds parents are as frightened of the separation from their teens as the teen is, and she acknowledges how difficult it is for parents to let go because of all that is out there and available to kids today.