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Parenting Teens: The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have Podcast

Do you feel that parenting teens is the biggest job you’ll ever have? Are you wondering about how to help your child discover his or her unique potential? Are you dedicated to raising a child with character and integrity? Based on the Hyde School’s philosophy of “parents are the primary teachers and the home is the primary classroom,” this podcast was created to help parents understand just how to put this philosophy in place in the home, and to discover the transformative outcomes that happen in families who implement it. You will hear from not only experts in the field of raising teenagers, such as educational consultants, authors, and therapists, but also hear from former Hyde parents and students who share their stories of challenges and triumphs on this journey. We welcome you to jump in and start discovering some “ah ha” moments and practices you can implement right away to bring your family closer together and raise self-confident teenagers with character who become inspiring adults.
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Now displaying: Category: Family
Jun 5, 2019

Focus on yourself.

Pieter Wolters and Ank Stuyfzand are proud of their son’s character and growth; they are also proud of their own growth as parents.

In our series of interviews with Hyde Alumni Parents, I usually ask the question “What was working in your parenting before you got to Hyde?”

Ank Stuyfzand and Pieter Wolters had several answers:

  • Ank:    We always had high standards for our son and for ourselves.
  • Pieter: We kept to the same guidelines in a situation.
  • Ank: We kept an open communication with each other.

Despite what sounds like a solid foundation in their parenting, they felt their son needed a school with more structure. They were not seeking a character-based school, but after visiting the school and learning about the curriculum, they were sold on Hyde for their son.

“A huge turning point for me,” said Ank, “was when I was told to focus on myself and let my son focus on himself.”

Pieter and Ank’s story is not unusual; they jumped into The Biggest Job Parent Program with both feet, not really liking it very much at first, but knowing they needed to make some changes in themselves.  They advise other parents to do the same. They are proud of where their son is today and proud of themselves as parents. 

May 29, 2019

What’s Your Parenting Style?

Hyde Alumni Parent, Kate Carey, says hers was “Why am I the only one who sees clearly?  I’m a victim and I’ve got some resentment.” She describes her husband’s style as “sometimes pampering, sometimes fury.” Both are very descriptive!

Whatever your parenting style, you’ll enjoy this brief but sincere conversation with Kate, who realized in their first experience – the interview – that Hyde was the place for her son. She learned that letting go meant allowing her son to make mistakes and learn from them; appreciating that he could teach his parents some things, and that working on her own growth was the best thing for herself and her whole family. 

May 22, 2019

Podcast 103: Jeff and Melissa Burroughs: Their daughter brought them back to Hyde…

I didn’t really want my daughter to go away to school…” Jeff Burroughs, former assistant Head of Hyde School, and Hyde Alumni Parent.

As former teachers and administrators at The Hyde School, both Jeff and Melissa Burroughs knew well what the program was like for students and parents. Yet when they found themselves in The Biggest Job Family program with a daughter at the school, their learning about themselves as parents was deeper than even they expected.

“In certain ways,” said Melissa, “my kids felt the need for my approval. I realized I also had felt the need for my parents’ approval when I was growing up. The seminar guidelines gave me some really good tools to be able to step outside myself and look at this.”

 

May 14, 2019

 

Jason Reid - Hyde School

“Tell My Story.” - Ryan Reid

Jason (Jay) Reid is doing just that; telling his son, Ryan’s story. Ryan took his life when he was 14, leaving two Post-It Notes: one was the passcode to his computer; the second said “Tell My Story.”

In this podcast we hear from a very brave father who misses his son, wishes he’d been more vulnerable, wishes he’d listened differently.  “We need to change the conversation around mental health,” says Jay; “families need to be talking about mental health and asking the right questions.”

Jay has founded an organization called ChooseLife (www.chooselife.org) and is making a documentary to eradicate – not just raise awareness – but ERADICATE teen suicide by the year 2030. 

 

May 6, 2019

Isaac Morehouse - Hyde School Biggest Job Podcast

Who would want to do that – crash their career? But it’s the subtitle of the book, Ditch the Gatekeepers and Be Your Own Credential, that brings sense to the title; and it’s a new book written by Isaac Morehouse, a man who likes to call himself radically practical.

Isaac has some pretty radical views on education, careers, and freedom; he believes that if college is a four-year social experience, it seems really overpriced. And “if it’s to prepare you for a successful career, it’s the most absurd format imaginable.” His company, PRAXIS, is a yearlong startup apprenticeship program that helps kids launch a career without a college degree and without debt.

You can find Isaac at www.isaacmorehouse.com

Apr 29, 2019

 

Joe Gauld- Hyde School

“Kids can’t identify with our achievements.”  Joe Gauld, Founder, Hyde School

It’s our 100th podcast!  And our very special guest is Joe Gauld, founder of The Hyde School in Bath, ME. I asked Joe to be the guest on our 100th show because it all started with him.

He founded Hyde School to prepare kids for life; after five years, he realized that unless he also reached their parents, he wasn’t helping kids in the best way possible, because the home is the primary classroom and parents are the primary teachers.

The parent program at Hyde is called The Biggest Job Family Program, where parents learn how to put truth over harmony and focus on attitude over aptitude. They also learn that vulnerability is an important trait in parenting.

Welcome to our 100th podcast!

@JoeGauld | Joseph W Gauld | Hyde School

Apr 22, 2019

 

Dan Scott

“Nothing is for sure when it comes to our kids; we do the best we know with what we have at the time.”  Dan Scott

Dan Scott is the author of Caught In Between: Engage Your Preteens Before They Check Out; he is also a pastor and writer for Orange Books and speaks to teens and parents about child and adolescent development.   He has written several devotionals for kids and believes that faith is as important on Wednesday as it is on the day they are in church or synagogue.

He also believes in our familiar phrase: “Parents are the primary teachers and the home is the primary classroom”.

www.danscottblog.com Twitter and Instagram: @danscott77

To Subscribe to the Parenting Teens Podcast:

From your Mobile Device:

    • Open the Podcast app and search the iTunes podcast store for “Hyde School” or “Parenting Teens Biggest Job.”
    • Click the Subscribe button.
Apr 15, 2019

Christian Buck - PBJ Podcast 98

“It’s About Effort, Not IQ” – Title of Chapter 10: The Sport of School, by Christian Buck

There are so many great quotes and teachings in The Sport of School: How to Help Student-Athletes Improve their Grades for High School, College, and Beyond!  that it was hard to choose the one that would catch your eye and make you want to listen to this podcast.  Here are a few more:

  • “Is our goal to prepare our students for the next four years or the next 40?”
  • “While I am a big proponent of goals, I am a greater proponent of a clear vision.”
  • “True change on the part of your student involves change for you as well, and the recognition that ultimately your student must make the decision to motivate himself or herself.”

Sound familiar?

Christian Buck left a career on Wall Street, got an advanced degree in sports psychology and now works with students to help them see that school can be approached the same way they approach sports in their lives: with vision, goals and hard work. There’s great advice here for parents wanting to help their kids in the same way.

www.ChristianBuck.com; on Twitter @CBuckconsulting

Apr 8, 2019

Ron Liever, the opposite of spoiled

We talk today with Ron Lieber, author of The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money. What parent wouldn’t want that?

“It’s hard for parents to talk to their kids about money,” says Ron; “they are not dispassionate about money, and not calm and rational about their kids.” His book gives great advice for parents on all things about kids and money, and the connection between money and values. There are also wonderful stories and ideas from real families that he interviewed.

Ron is the “Your Money” columnist for The New York Times. His next book, “What to Pay for College: An Entirely New Guide to the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make,” will be published by Harper Collins in 2020.

You can find him at www.ronlieber.com.

Apr 8, 2019

Ron Liever, the opposite of spoiled

We talk today with Ron Lieber, author of The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money. What parent wouldn’t want that?

“It’s hard for parents to talk to their kids about money,” says Ron; “they are not dispassionate about money, and not calm and rational about their kids.” His book gives great advice for parents on all things about kids and money, and the connection between money and values. There are also wonderful stories and ideas from real families that he interviewed.

Ron is the “Your Money” columnist for The New York Times. His next book, “What to Pay for College: An Entirely New Guide to the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make,” will be published by Harper Collins in 2020.

You can find him at www.ronlieber.com.

Apr 1, 2019

Marilyn Price-Mitchell

“Parents need to listen to their teen. Support them in becoming who they want to be, not who you want them to be.”  Marilyn Price-Mitchell, PhD

Marilyn Price-Mitchell is a developmental psychologist, who works as a researcher and writer. For the last decade she’s focused efforts on studying how parents, educators and mentors nurture positive strengths in children.

In her free e-book “Reframing Success,” she lists eight attributes that are important in children and teens:

  • Empathy
  • Curiosity
  • Sociability
  • Resilience
  • Self-awareness
  • Integrity
  • Resourcefulness
  • Creativity

You can find Marilyn at www.rootsofaction.com; in Psychology Today, where she is a regular columnist; or at www.mpricemitchell.com.

Mar 25, 2019

Would you, as a parent, buy your kid’s way into college?

Signe Wilkinson Signe Wilkinson, cartoon du jour TOON14, Admissions Scam

"Here at Hyde School, we want kids to do the honorable thing without thinking about it." 
Malcolm Gauld, Director, The Hyde Institute

Malcolm has been a teacher, coach and head of school at Hyde School; he is currently Director of The Hyde Institute, an organization established to take Hyde’s unique approach to family-based character education to other schools in the nation.

He was not surprised to learn that some parents would buy their student’s way into college; but he was surprised by the extent of it.

“The parents have deprived their children of a very important rite of passage; the college application is the first time that an 18 year old takes their credentials into the world to see what the world says. Parents need to see how their children handle that.’

In this podcast, we look at how the lack of integrity on the part of many people involved in the admissions cheating contributed to the outcome.

Read Malcolm's blog article, "Personal Character > College Prestige" on the subject.

Mar 18, 2019

Sean Grover When Kids Call the Shots

“You can’t take the struggle out of parenting – it’s built in. The real question is, how much are we willing to challenge ourselves?”

This quote from When Kids Call the Shots: How to Seize Control from Your Darling Bully  - and Enjoy Being a Parent Again by Sean Glover, is just one of many wise things about parenting you will hear in this interview.

Sean is a psychotherapist, speaker, and author with 25 years’ experience working with adults and children in New York City. His approach to parenting is the same as The Biggest Job’s: “When parents model the behaviors they want to see in their kids, they lead the way to better communication and a better relationship.” 

You can find Sean at www.seangrover.com.

Mar 11, 2019

Listen, listen, listen.” – Chris Guidera, Hyde Alumni Parent

Chris Guidera, husband of Ali di Groot who was on the show last week, had similar words as his wife about his parenting: “I thought I had all the answers,” he admits; “and I learned that I needed to listen more. The family I grew up in  - somebody was always talking; nobody listened.”

Chris thought he was doing it differently than how he was raised, but learned he wasn’t. He made changes in his parenting through The Biggest Job Parenting Program and ultimately changed the level of trust between his daughter and himself.

Mar 4, 2019

“Before we went to Hyde, I was parenting from a very angry place.” Ali de Groot, Hyde Alumni Parent

Ali embraced the parenting program, once she realized what was being asked of her, and says that her parenting changed drastically. “We didn’t have to keep saying things like, do your homework, do your homework. 

The parent training taught me to just, one by one, let go of my attachments to all the outcomes and to focus on myself. I was able to treat my daughter much more calmly; I wasn’t angry anymore.”

In this podcast, Ali shares how The Biggest Job Parent program changed her, her parenting, and all her relationships.

Feb 25, 2019
Eric Karlan

Eric Karlan, Creative Commons license, image has been cropped

“What Do I Need to Know About You?”  is Eric Karlan’s favorite question to students.

Eric Karlan is co-owner of an organization called Ivy Experience, which helps students prepare for ACT and SAT testing, write college essays and complete college applications.

Don’t let the name of his company fool you into thinking that he only helps students interested in Ivy League Schools; he helps students and families interested in ANY school. He wants to know how a student is engaged in the world, and helps them find their unique story – what sets them apart – what their values and quirks are, and the obstacles they’ve overcome.

He asks the question, “What do I need to know about you?” because he believes that sharing one’s authenticity and passion is the most important part of helping students get to the right topic for their college essay.  “What is an admissions officer?” Eric asks; “He or she is a person; and people accept other people.” 

Feb 18, 2019

"As my children know from early on what I told them repeatedly… the two most important possessions a person has is their word and their integrity."

Dr. Bruce E. Berger, MD, Associate Professor of Medicine, Emeritus
School of Medicine, Case Western Reserve University.

A tumultuous divorce and custody battle led Bruce to seek a school that would give his son structure, stability and an academic education that was character-based.  

Having been awarded custody of his two children when they were young, he parented from a rule-based approach; what he learned through The Biggest Job Family Program was that he was parenting from his own anxiety about his situation, not from his principles.

Bruce’s circumstance might be different, but his parenting challenges can be seen in many of our own stories. 

Feb 11, 2019

Hackiversity

Can students achieve more by doing less in college?

“YES!” says Kyle Winey, college productivity expert, in his book, Hackiversity: The Secrets to Achieving More by Doing Less in College. 

When I read the title of this book, my first thought was, “Is this guy going to tell kids and parents that you really don’t have to study in college?” What I found out was the opposite.  Kyle’s recommendations are:

  • Achieve Self-Awareness by finding your passion, your strengths, your purpose and figuring out what lifestyle you want.
  • Maximize Your Marketability through your college selection, the megatrends out there today, the selection of your major, your grades, internships, networking and your character (which he calls non-negotiable skills).

“Hacking college isn’t meant to show you all of the ingredients involved with college success,” says Kyle. “It’s to help identify the few elements that rocket you toward success faster and with less effort.”

Our podcast conversation with Kyle gives you glimpses into Kyle’s premise and philosophy, which I think you’ll find fascinating.

You can learn more about Kyle and HACKiversity at www.hackiversity.com. In addition to HACKiversity the book, Kyle's HACKiversity Project features a college selection tool designed to generate a list of colleges that are right for you, based on your location, grades, and budget.

Feb 4, 2019

I learned that I had to be consistently patient and patiently consistent in my parenting.” 

Dennis Cavalli, Hyde Alumni Parent

Dennis and Claire Cavalli went through The Biggest Job Parent program almost ten years ago at Hyde School, but they are still using what they learned.

“I was just going through the motions of living my life,” says Claire; “I was doing what I thought I should do, or what the books said.”

In this is podcast, you’ll find out how the parent program helped them change as individuals and as a couple; how this change helped their son; and how people in their community are now coming to them, seeking help.

Jan 28, 2019

In the first of our series on parenting wisdom from Hyde Alumni Parents, Laura Main says:

“I was willing to do whatever I was asked to help my son, including if it was hanging upside down from the rooftop by rope from my ankles.” 

I think most parents feel this way. The family is doing great, is, in fact, a great family, and suddenly things aren’t going so well; perhaps there are struggles between the parents, a separation or divorce; a teen feels they need more independence; a parent feels the child needs more accountability. Whatever the reason, the student, and perhaps the whole family, is not thriving.

Laura and Doug share what their parenting was like before sending their son to Hyde, how their parenting changed, and what it’s like now. They admit they learned a great deal about themselves, both as individuals and as parents in The Biggest Job Family Program.

Jan 21, 2019

“What’s missing in many American lives is an everyday place for conversation about sexuality. We have “do” and “don’t”, but almost no “hmmm – let’s think about that…”  ~ Bonnie Rough

Beyond Birds and Bees book

Having the chance to live for a period of time in Holland, Bonnie Rough and her young family experienced firsthand the way the Dutch have learned to teach their children about sex, sexuality and gender equality. Her latest book, Beyond Birds and Bees: Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids about Sex, Love, and Equality, and our conversation in this podcast, are filled with humor, humility, and heart. She is forth coming about her own doubts and how she struggled to overcome them and give her children the foundations in sexual education to never feel shame about their bodies and their sexuality. 

Bonnie can be found at www.bonniejrough.com and on social media.

Jan 14, 2019

Natalie Borrell of Life Success for Teens
Natalie Borrell of Life Success for Teens

That’s what we all want for our teens, isn’t it? Well, have you ever thought about having a coach for your teen? To help them deal with anxiety, fear of loss, and fear of rejection? Sure, all parents would like to be the person their teen turns to for help with these things, but what if you’re not? What if your teen doesn’t want you to be the one to help them deal with their test anxiety, presentation skills and how to talk to their teachers?

It might be a hard pill to swallow, but remember what we say in The Biggest Job Workshops: “Humility is one of the most important qualities in parenting.”

This podcast with Natalie Borrell, a school psychologist, and Alison Grant, a teacher with a license in counseling, of Life Success for Teens, (www.lifesuccessforteens.com) gives us insight into teenage anxiety and some great tips for dealing with it. They can also be found on Facebook at Parents Raising Successful Teens – a free community group.

Jan 7, 2019

Richard Preece, Live Big
Richard Preece, author of Live Big

Richard Preece works for a global investment management company. After graduating from The Biggest Job Parenting program at Hyde School, he took the Ten Priorities into his work place, teaching and modeling them in this country and abroad.

There’s not really any difference between what challenges people at home and what challenges them at work; so the 10 Priorities work wherever you are and whatever you’re doing,” he says.

Richard has written a book called Live Big: Creating the Life You Never Dared to Dream which is available on Amazon. If interested in finding out how to implement The 10 Priorities at your work place, contact Richard at rpreece56@yahoo.com.

The 10 Priorities

  1. Truth over Harmony
  2. Principles over Rules
  3. Attitude over Aptitude
  4. Set High Expectations, Let Go of Outcomes
  5. Value Success and Failure
  6. Allow Obstacles to Become Opportunities
  7. Take Hold and Let Go
  8. Create a Character Culture
  9. Humility to Ask for and Accept Help
  10. Inspiration: Job # 1
Dec 31, 2018

Lisa Wade, author of American Hookup
Lisa Wade, author of American Hookup

If the title of this book, American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus, by Lisa Wade, PhD., startles you, the information and descriptions in the book may shock you. But tune in to this podcast so you can find out the truth about how pervasive hook-up culture on college campuses is today, its pervasiveness and effects on students.  

In an up-front conversation, Lisa Wade, associate professor of Sociology at Occidental College, gives us insight into the history of the hook-up culture on college campuses, the reasons students choose to hook-up, or choose to avoid it, and what colleges could do to change this culture.

“Seeing what’s happening on campus as a culture – recognizing that it’s not the hookup itself, but hookup culture that is the problem – is the first step to changing it,” she writes.

Lisa travels nationally, giving talks about hookup culture. You can find her on twitter (@lisawade); on Instagram (lisawadephd) or at https://lisa-wade.com

Dec 24, 2018

Are you a perfectionist? Is it influencing your child to be perfect also?

Focus instead on who are you as a person, what do you stand for, what do you believe in, what are your deeper principles, and how are you going to live a life that adheres to that? And if you do, you’re going to achieve what you’re meant to achieve, and it’s not a societal standard and it’s not better than other people, it’s your personal best.”  ~ Claire Grant

Claire, who is Executive Director of The Biggest Job Family Program at Hyde School, talks candidly about perfectionism in her own life as a teenager; how it happened, and her struggle to be satisfied with her own effort. She gives tips to parents who might be expecting perfection, and who are parenting out of guilt because they feel they should be more or because they’ve let their kid down in some way.

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