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Parenting Teens: The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have Podcast

Do you feel that parenting teens is the biggest job you’ll ever have? Are you wondering about how to help your child discover his or her unique potential? Are you dedicated to raising a child with character and integrity? Based on the Hyde School’s philosophy of “parents are the primary teachers and the home is the primary classroom,” this podcast was created to help parents understand just how to put this philosophy in place in the home, and to discover the transformative outcomes that happen in families who implement it. You will hear from not only experts in the field of raising teenagers, such as educational consultants, authors, and therapists, but also hear from former Hyde parents and students who share their stories of challenges and triumphs on this journey. We welcome you to jump in and start discovering some “ah ha” moments and practices you can implement right away to bring your family closer together and raise self-confident teenagers with character who become inspiring adults.
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Now displaying: 2018
Aug 13, 2018

“Providing information about sex is not the same as giving permission.”  ~ Amy Lang

Amy Lang has written two great books on how to talk to your kids about sex. The first one, titled Birds + Bees + Your Kids is also the name of her company: BirdsAndBeesAndKids.com. She teaches parents the importance of clarifying their own values and beliefs about sexuality, love, and relationships, thus forming the solid foundation needed to have the sex talks.

Her second book, Dating Smarts: What EVERY teen needs to know to date, relate or wait is for parents to read and then to give to their teens to read. Nothing is left out in these books. “A well educated child [about sex] is a safer child,” Amy explains. 

She does workshops for parents on how to teach kids about sex; and she welcomes questions. You can find her blog and website at https://birdsandbeesandkids.com/ and email her at amy@birdsandbeesandkids.com.

Aug 6, 2018

"The greatest impact on children are the unlived lives of adults.”  Carl Jung

In our last five parenting mantras, Laura Gauld, co-author of the book, The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have, mentions this quote “We need the help of others to get to our own greatness as parents.”

The mantras in this podcast are about living the kind of life as a parent that will inspire our children; that will model character for them; and that will show our kids our spirit.

The final five mantras are:

  1. Others see you as you cannot see yourself.
  2. Embrace curiosity and learn something new each day.
  3. IPSES: Intellectual, Physical, Spiritual, Emotional, Social
  4. No one taps into their greatness without the help of others.
  5. Inspiration: Job # 1
Jul 30, 2018

Do you see your teen in a way that is only one dimensional?  Does your teen see you the same way?

This is a question that Kristin Harman, Director of Admissions at the Hyde School, encourages parents to look at as they decide if they want to start parenting in the exceptional way that The Biggest Job Family Program teaches parents to do.

After working at seven different schools in her career, Kristin came to the Hyde School. She finds that the interview process helps kids and parents listen differently to each other and this begins to establish a deeper trust in each other.

In this podcast, Kristin also talks about how she views the influence of social media; the increase of anxiety in teens; and answers the question, “Is depression sometimes a mask for anxiety?”

Jul 23, 2018

This is a great way to help ourselves, as parents, keep our kids from manipulating us says author, Laura Gauld. 

The mantras in today’s podcast are:

  1. View each day as an opportunity for growth
  2. Do the unexpected (and keep your child off guard.)
  3. Let go of perfection.
  4. Take hold of excellence
  5. Be a good friend and make new friends.
Jul 16, 2018

Parenting as Partners by Vicki HoefleWhen big parenting issues come up, do you ever think “…if only he/she would just do it my way? Then we could solve this and move on!”

As you well know, it doesn’t usually happen this way. “Kids highlight the real challenge in the family: the one between the parenting partners,” writes Vicki in this wonderful hands-on book.

A true proponent of fostering independence in kids, Vicki teaches us that looking at how we were parented and melding that with the experience of our partner is truly a challenge. She believes that “having a strong marriage and having solid parenting strategies is not enough to successfully negotiate the tricky terrain of co-parenting with someone who has an entirely different idea on how to raise the kids.”

So how do we meld ideas on parenting in order to co-parent? This book (and this podcast) will help get you started.

You can find Vicki at www.vickihoefle.com

You can also listen to our first interview with Vicki, about her book Duct Tape Parenting.

Jul 9, 2018

We learn in today’s podcast with speaker and author, Laura Gauld, that the word “accept” is an important part of parenting.  Laura talks about accepting what our own parents gave us, taking a look at how we listen, and actually reaching out and seeking honesty about how others see us. 

Today’s mantras are:

  1. Accept what your own parents gave you, what they tried to give you and what they were unable to give you.
  2. Get up every day and model character in the little moments.
  3. Give others permission to be totally honest with you.
  4. Do something each day for your pure joy.
  5. Share successes and failures with your child.
Jul 2, 2018

Are you trying to be “the perfect mom?” Think you’re “not very good at being a mother…?”  This podcast and book are for you!

Mommy Burnout by Dr. Sheryl ZieglerMommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process

Although the title of this book, by Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, might sound like a book for mothers of younger children, be assured that it’s not. Moms of teenagers experience burnout too, and can benefit from not only listening to this podcast but also reading the book.

Burnout has its symptoms and it has its remedies, and Dr. Ziegler is an expert in both. In our podcast, Dr. Ziegler talks about how burnout can affect so many parts of a woman’s life: friendships, partnerships, work, and of course, our kids.

The podcast is a great introduction to a book I highly recommend. Dr. Ziegler can be found at www.drsherylziegler.com; and the book at www.mommyburnout.com.

Jun 25, 2018

“We will be parents until we breathe our last breath.”  - Laura Gauld

This parenting fundamental and the mantras that explain it teach us the importance of continuing to grow and change as parents. We are never too old to look at our own attitudes and change the ones that might be holding us back; or to take risks in our lives.

The five mantras in this podcast are:

  1. Lead by example.
  2. Respect yourself.
  3. Grow, risk and change.
  4. Take risks in front of your child.
  5. Tackle the deep attitudes that hold you back.
Jun 18, 2018

“Our conscience is the compass of our destiny.”   - Laura Gauld

So how do we teach conscience to our kids? Advice on that, and the last five mantras of Parenting Fundamental # 4 are discussed in today’s podcast with Laura.

  1. Let your conscience be your guide.
  2. See the small moments of inspiration.
  3. The darkest times bring about the deepest lessons.
  4. Do not compare yourself or your child to others.
  5. Trust in a higher power.

Discover more advice from the parenting village at www.biggestjob.com.

Jun 11, 2018

Grit is a word that we hear a lot these days; we talk about it in the Biggest Job Workshops, and in part 2 of our conversation with Rebecca Mannis, a learning specialist who founded Ivy-Prep, we learn that grit is something that can be intentionally taught to kids.

“There are ways in which we can step back and understand what our responses are and appreciate our experience”, Dr. Mannis says. “Encourage your kids to appreciate why it is they may be feeling a certain way; encourage them to try something even if it brings up discomfort.” 

Dr. Mannis also shares in this podcast her views about how technology has increased anxiety in kids.

Her website: www.ivy-prep.com

Jun 4, 2018

Dr. Rebecca Mannis, a learning specialist and founder of Ivy Prep, says that each child has a natural way of learning, whether they are intellectually gifted or specifically challenged with a learning issue. Her Ivy Prep Learning Center bridges the fields of neuropsychology and education in a targeted and customized way to help students of all ages in NYC and worldwide. The Ivy Prep approach uses methods, tools and tech that enhance learning via a cohesive education action plan that tends to the total individual. 

In this interview, Dr. Mannis talks about how students come to understand how they learn best and how to work effectively on their own at home and at school. This is called “metacognitive awareness – awareness of one’s own thought process.”

But don’t let the big words keep you from listening; Dr. Mannis explains her field and puts everything into terms any parent can understand. There are specific ways parents and teachers can help kids become their own best guides. And it’s all closely related to unique potential!

Her website: www.ivy-prep.com  

May 21, 2018

“Parenting is messy,” says Laura Gauld. When I think about this, it’s really true! Parenting is messy. Just accepting this might make the job a little easier, don’t you think? We might not get so caught up in how we look as a parent or how we’re doing at the job. It’s also important to remember that humor and humility are two very important traits in parenting.

In this podcast, Laura shares with us the following mantras from Fundamental #4 (Have faith in your child’s unique potential and the larger forces at work):

  1. Take hold and let go.
  2. Humility to ask for and accept help.
  3. You may not always see the teacher in your child’s life.
  4. “Turn that attitude into gratitude.”
  5. Let go of yesterday and tomorrow.
May 14, 2018

This is an intriguing question that Neha Gupta, founder of Elite Private Tutors and College Shortcuts answers on her blog at www.eliteprivatetutors.com/2016/10/students-beg-colleges-accept-instead-way-around .

Neha’s enthusiasm for what she does shines through in what she shares with us about how to motivate students, how to give them confidence, and her warning about how the common app might make every applicant common.  “What is that thing that makes you, you?” she asks students?

Neha can be found at www.eliteprivatetutors.com and www.collegeshortcuts.com

She is also a speaker and author of the book, The 4-Year Plan, which you can find on her website and costs only the shipping charges.

May 7, 2018

“You are in this game for the long haul!”

I know you’ve heard this said before, or in different ways, but hang on to this mantra, as it’s so important. Hang on, too, to the vision you have for your child. Sometimes they may say they don’t have a vision for themselves, or they don’t care, but they do; “every child wants to be somebody.”

Today’s mantras are important (aren’t they all?) – but they can escape our memories and our practice of parenting when we get caught up in so much “every day stuff.”  So listen carefully, listen twice, even, and share this and all our podcasts with your friends. (We can add your friends to our list so they receive the notices directly.)

Included in today’s podcast are the following mantras:

  1. Set High expectations and let go of the outcome. (Parenting Priority 4)
  2. Hold on to both the reality and vision you have for your child.
  3. Believe in yourself and the best of your child.
  4. Let go of all the “what ifs” and believe that your child is capable of figuring it out.
  5. You are in this game for the long haul.
Apr 30, 2018

Parenting Fundamental 4: Have faith in your child’s unique potential and the larger forces at work.

This 13th podcast with Laura Gauld is a special one. (Not that they aren’t all great!)

This fourth fundamental is a wonderful tool to help us as parents let go when things go off track – getting out of the way so our kids can experience some short-term struggles for long-term gain - learning something about themselves, acquiring some grit and some courage. Laura also talks about labels we put on our kids and the importance of creating a partnership based on trust with your child’s teachers and coaches.

Today’s mantras are:

  1. Allow obstacles to become opportunities
  2. Resist labels of any kind
  3. Give others permission to challenge your child
  4. Who you are is more important than what you can do.
  5. "Your children are not your children."
Apr 23, 2018

Did you know that a college application only gets minutes in front of admissions officers? How do you construct an application that stands out in this sea of competition?

With four million seniors each year competing for coveted spots at colleges, an application needs to effectively communicate a student’s achievements and potential to give them the best chance at admission - whether your student is applying to an Ivy League or a different dream school.

Today we are speaking with Amber Jin, the founder of Get Into Ivy, about the college application process - from the number one mistake students make, to must-have elements that will help them make an impression on admissions officers. 

Parents, you’ll want your student to listen in, and you will want to tune in until the end to find out where you can be most impactful in the process. 

Visit www.getintoivy.com for a very informative article for parents called The Parents’ Guide to College Application; and additional tools and resources to guide you and your student through the college application process. 

Apr 16, 2018

Do you remember the power of a “look” from your parents when you were growing up? That’s the first mantra discussed on this podcast with Laura Gauld, as we wrap up parenting fundamental #3 on building family traditions.  How did we know what our parents meant when they gave us the “look”, and how can we get back to that in parenting today?

Full of great tips, this conversation covers Mantras 56-60:

  1. Remember the power of a “look”
  2. Always call the other parents
  3. What you pay attention to is what you reinforce
  4. Go to your children’s physical location
  5. Keep one foot in front of the other.
Apr 9, 2018

"Focus on family spirit and not family image."

What an important and thought-provoking mantra, especially in a world where image seems to be everything. 

But how do we do this?  “It’s not easy,” says Laura Gauld; “and it’s usually a struggle or challenge in the family that gets us to the point of understanding that each family does have a family spirit, and that family spirit is more important than our family image.”

The mantras in this podcast are:

  1. Plan an activity with each child.
  2. Value and expect manners
  3. Teach a firm handshake and eye contact.
  4. Teach a family motto and live it.
  5. Focus on family spirit and not family image.
Apr 2, 2018

“If you want to go fast in your life, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.”  African Proverb

“Life is not just about taking care of ourselves.”  Laura Gauld

Both of the above quotes are covered in this podcast, as well as many other meaningful tips from mantras 46 – 50 under Parenting Fundamental # 3: Build Family Traditions:

  1. Light candles at the dinner table (or at breakfast or lunch!)
  2. Talk to your child when you are in the car (and listen to them also.)
  3. Family jobs (Are you teaching your child how to work?)
  4. Reach out and give back as a family (Kids will remember this family experience.)
  5. Bring rigor, synergy and conscience into the home. (What does this really mean?)
Mar 26, 2018

“When parents change the way they interact with their sons and daughters, they pave the way for transformation.”

Bobbie DePorter book coverBobbi DePorter is the founder of Super Camp, a camp for kids that’s been around for 35 years and is now in 19 different countries.

While Super Camp is for kids, The Seven Biggest Teen Problems and How to Turn Them into Strengths is a book written for parents to help them see what changes they need to make to effect changes in their children.

“We’re different from most other programs because we’re purposefully evolving,” says Bobbi in her book. She and her team of facilitators have identified the most common difficulties they see teens facing and boiled them down to seven main issues:

  1. Troubled Relationships
  2. Emotional Hurt
  3. Negative Self-Image
  4. Fear of Disruptive Change
  5. Poor Grades
  6. Lack of Focus
  7. Low Motivation

You can find Bobbi at www.supercamp.com

Mar 19, 2018

"The big picture of raising children is done with the actions, routines and practices that make up lifetime memories, habits and character," says Laura Gauld, author and head of Hyde School. "It is never too late to start a family tradition and often the value of these actions is seen looking back at one’s upbringing."

In this podcast, she covers the first 5 mantras for Parenting Fundamental #3 -  Build Family Traditions (#41-45):

  1. Make attitude everything
  2. Center the family on honesty
  3. Write letters
  4. Family meeting
  5. Mandatory fun
Mar 12, 2018

One of the mantras Laura Gauld discusses with us in today’s podcast is “don’t lie, don’t quit.”  This is a great lesson for kids and adults and a very simple thing to remember.  If I’m off track in my life, I won’t lie about it and I won’t give up. I can imagine our kids remembering this mantra when they are adults if they hear it often enough from us, and probably repeating it to their kids. (See below for all the mantras in today’s podcast.)

There are other great tidbits and lots of helpful information in this conversation, as we wrap up the lessons for our second parenting fundamental: Raise children to be accountable to life. 

Mantras 36-40:

  1. “Is this my issue?”
  2. “Look for the positive but do not over gush.”
  3. “If you think they are doing a little, they are doing a lot.”
  4. “Don’t lie, don’t quit.”
  5. “Show up early and stay late.”
Mar 5, 2018

"Why do we have kids wanting to shoot up a school?"

This is the question Joe Gauld, founder of The Hyde School in Bath, Maine, asks at the beginning of this podcast. Thus starts his explanation of looking at a deeper lesson in the Florida School schooting, rather than just a band aid solution to our national crises of school shootings.

“Develop a safe place or sanctuary,” Joe proposes, “that will allow students to trust that teachers see the best in them and want the best for them. Then let the school be student-centered, based on the character development of each individual as well as the academic development of the kids. In this way we will begin to get rid of the resentment and bullying that has happened as a result of focusing totally on achievement.” 

There is a lot of wisdom in what Joe shares with us on this podcast. You can see his full article in the Portland Press Herald: https://www.pressherald.com/2018/02/22/maine-voices-laser-focus-on-each-students-unique-potential-to-make-schools-safe-sanctuaries-of-learning/

Feb 26, 2018

Hilary Jacobs Hendel It's Not Always Depression

Are you worried about a teen who says they are depressed? Do you see anxiety in your teen? Do you find vagueness a part of yours or your teen’s communication?

In part two of our podcast series with Hilary Jacobs Hendel, we learn about what to do if a teen says they are depressed or if they exhibit anxiety. Hilary talks about the importance of roots and wings for our children, the difference between healthy and unhealthy shame in parenting, and why families fall into vagueness as a defense in their communication with one another.

You can find Hilary at www.Hilaryjacobshendel.com and her book at Amazon.

Feb 19, 2018

Can you laugh at yourself during some tough parenting moments? Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? It is possible, says Laura Gauld in our 7th podcast interview in which she shares with us more wisdom from Parenting Fundamental #2: Raise children to be accountable to life.

Laura also shares with us the necessity of teaching our children to delay gratification, and the importance of teaching them how to work. 

Mantras 31-35:

  1. Never negotiate with a terrorist attitude
  2. Delay gratification
  3. Look for humor and laughter
  4. Principles over rules
  5. Teach your child to work.
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