“Providing information about sex is not the same as giving permission.” ~ Amy Lang
Amy Lang has written two great books on how to talk to your kids about sex. The first one, titled Birds + Bees + Your Kids is also the name of her company: BirdsAndBeesAndKids.com. She teaches parents the importance of clarifying their own values and beliefs about sexuality, love, and relationships, thus forming the solid foundation needed to have the sex talks.
Her second book, Dating Smarts: What EVERY teen needs to know to date, relate or wait is for parents to read and then to give to their teens to read. Nothing is left out in these books. “A well educated child [about sex] is a safer child,” Amy explains.
She does workshops for parents on how to teach kids about sex; and she welcomes questions. You can find her blog and website at https://birdsandbeesandkids.com/ and email her at email@example.com.
"The greatest impact on children are the unlived lives of adults.” Carl Jung
In our last five parenting mantras, Laura Gauld, co-author of the book, The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have, mentions this quote. “We need the help of others to get to our own greatness as parents.”
The mantras in this podcast are about living the kind of life as a parent that will inspire our children; that will model character for them; and that will show our kids our spirit.
The final five mantras are:
Do you see your teen in a way that is only one dimensional? Does your teen see you the same way?
This is a question that Kristin Harman, Director of Admissions at the Hyde School, encourages parents to look at as they decide if they want to start parenting in the exceptional way that The Biggest Job Family Program teaches parents to do.
After working at seven different schools in her career, Kristin came to the Hyde School. She finds that the interview process helps kids and parents listen differently to each other and this begins to establish a deeper trust in each other.
In this podcast, Kristin also talks about how she views the influence of social media; the increase of anxiety in teens; and answers the question, “Is depression sometimes a mask for anxiety?”
This is a great way to help ourselves, as parents, keep our kids from manipulating us says author, Laura Gauld.
The mantras in today’s podcast are:
As you well know, it doesn’t usually happen this way. “Kids highlight the real challenge in the family: the one between the parenting partners,” writes Vicki in this wonderful hands-on book.
A true proponent of fostering independence in kids, Vicki teaches us that looking at how we were parented and melding that with the experience of our partner is truly a challenge. She believes that “having a strong marriage and having solid parenting strategies is not enough to successfully negotiate the tricky terrain of co-parenting with someone who has an entirely different idea on how to raise the kids.”
So how do we meld ideas on parenting in order to co-parent? This book (and this podcast) will help get you started.
You can find Vicki at www.vickihoefle.com
You can also listen to our first interview with Vicki, about her book Duct Tape Parenting.
We learn in today’s podcast with speaker and author, Laura Gauld, that the word “accept” is an important part of parenting. Laura talks about accepting what our own parents gave us, taking a look at how we listen, and actually reaching out and seeking honesty about how others see us.
Today’s mantras are:
Are you trying to be “the perfect mom?” Think you’re “not very good at being a mother…?” This podcast and book are for you!
Although the title of this book, by Dr. Sheryl Ziegler, might sound like a book for mothers of younger children, be assured that it’s not. Moms of teenagers experience burnout too, and can benefit from not only listening to this podcast but also reading the book.
Burnout has its symptoms and it has its remedies, and Dr. Ziegler is an expert in both. In our podcast, Dr. Ziegler talks about how burnout can affect so many parts of a woman’s life: friendships, partnerships, work, and of course, our kids.
“We will be parents until we breathe our last breath.” - Laura Gauld
This parenting fundamental and the mantras that explain it teach us the importance of continuing to grow and change as parents. We are never too old to look at our own attitudes and change the ones that might be holding us back; or to take risks in our lives.
The five mantras in this podcast are:
“Our conscience is the compass of our destiny.” - Laura Gauld
So how do we teach conscience to our kids? Advice on that, and the last five mantras of Parenting Fundamental # 4 are discussed in today’s podcast with Laura.
Discover more advice from the parenting village at www.biggestjob.com.
Grit is a word that we hear a lot these days; we talk about it in the Biggest Job Workshops, and in part 2 of our conversation with Rebecca Mannis, a learning specialist who founded Ivy-Prep, we learn that grit is something that can be intentionally taught to kids.
“There are ways in which we can step back and understand what our responses are and appreciate our experience”, Dr. Mannis says. “Encourage your kids to appreciate why it is they may be feeling a certain way; encourage them to try something even if it brings up discomfort.”
Dr. Mannis also shares in this podcast her views about how technology has increased anxiety in kids.
Her website: www.ivy-prep.com
Dr. Rebecca Mannis, a learning specialist and founder of Ivy Prep, says that each child has a natural way of learning, whether they are intellectually gifted or specifically challenged with a learning issue. Her Ivy Prep Learning Center bridges the fields of neuropsychology and education in a targeted and customized way to help students of all ages in NYC and worldwide. The Ivy Prep approach uses methods, tools and tech that enhance learning via a cohesive education action plan that tends to the total individual.
In this interview, Dr. Mannis talks about how students come to understand how they learn best and how to work effectively on their own at home and at school. This is called “metacognitive awareness – awareness of one’s own thought process.”
But don’t let the big words keep you from listening; Dr. Mannis explains her field and puts everything into terms any parent can understand. There are specific ways parents and teachers can help kids become their own best guides. And it’s all closely related to unique potential!
Her website: www.ivy-prep.com
“Parenting is messy,” says Laura Gauld. When I think about this, it’s really true! Parenting is messy. Just accepting this might make the job a little easier, don’t you think? We might not get so caught up in how we look as a parent or how we’re doing at the job. It’s also important to remember that humor and humility are two very important traits in parenting.
In this podcast, Laura shares with us the following mantras from Fundamental #4 (Have faith in your child’s unique potential and the larger forces at work):
This is an intriguing question that Neha Gupta, founder of Elite Private Tutors and College Shortcuts answers on her blog at www.eliteprivatetutors.com/2016/10/students-beg-colleges-accept-instead-way-around .
Neha’s enthusiasm for what she does shines through in what she shares with us about how to motivate students, how to give them confidence, and her warning about how the common app might make every applicant common. “What is that thing that makes you, you?” she asks students?
She is also a speaker and author of the book, The 4-Year Plan, which you can find on her website and costs only the shipping charges.
“You are in this game for the long haul!”
I know you’ve heard this said before, or in different ways, but hang on to this mantra, as it’s so important. Hang on, too, to the vision you have for your child. Sometimes they may say they don’t have a vision for themselves, or they don’t care, but they do; “every child wants to be somebody.”
Today’s mantras are important (aren’t they all?) – but they can escape our memories and our practice of parenting when we get caught up in so much “every day stuff.” So listen carefully, listen twice, even, and share this and all our podcasts with your friends. (We can add your friends to our list so they receive the notices directly.)
Included in today’s podcast are the following mantras:
Parenting Fundamental 4: Have faith in your child’s unique potential and the larger forces at work.
This 13th podcast with Laura Gauld is a special one. (Not that they aren’t all great!)
This fourth fundamental is a wonderful tool to help us as parents let go when things go off track – getting out of the way so our kids can experience some short-term struggles for long-term gain - learning something about themselves, acquiring some grit and some courage. Laura also talks about labels we put on our kids and the importance of creating a partnership based on trust with your child’s teachers and coaches.
Today’s mantras are:
Did you know that a college application only gets minutes in front of admissions officers? How do you construct an application that stands out in this sea of competition?
With four million seniors each year competing for coveted spots at colleges, an application needs to effectively communicate a student’s achievements and potential to give them the best chance at admission - whether your student is applying to an Ivy League or a different dream school.
Today we are speaking with Amber Jin, the founder of Get Into Ivy, about the college application process - from the number one mistake students make, to must-have elements that will help them make an impression on admissions officers.
Parents, you’ll want your student to listen in, and you will want to tune in until the end to find out where you can be most impactful in the process.
Visit www.getintoivy.com for a very informative article for parents called The Parents’ Guide to College Application; and additional tools and resources to guide you and your student through the college application process.
Do you remember the power of a “look” from your parents when you were growing up? That’s the first mantra discussed on this podcast with Laura Gauld, as we wrap up parenting fundamental #3 on building family traditions. How did we know what our parents meant when they gave us the “look”, and how can we get back to that in parenting today?
Full of great tips, this conversation covers Mantras 56-60:
"Focus on family spirit and not family image."
What an important and thought-provoking mantra, especially in a world where image seems to be everything.
But how do we do this? “It’s not easy,” says Laura Gauld; “and it’s usually a struggle or challenge in the family that gets us to the point of understanding that each family does have a family spirit, and that family spirit is more important than our family image.”
The mantras in this podcast are:
“If you want to go fast in your life, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.” African Proverb
“Life is not just about taking care of ourselves.” Laura Gauld
Both of the above quotes are covered in this podcast, as well as many other meaningful tips from mantras 46 – 50 under Parenting Fundamental # 3: Build Family Traditions:
“When parents change the way they interact with their sons and daughters, they pave the way for transformation.”
While Super Camp is for kids, The Seven Biggest Teen Problems and How to Turn Them into Strengths is a book written for parents to help them see what changes they need to make to effect changes in their children.
“We’re different from most other programs because we’re purposefully evolving,” says Bobbi in her book. She and her team of facilitators have identified the most common difficulties they see teens facing and boiled them down to seven main issues:
You can find Bobbi at www.supercamp.com
"The big picture of raising children is done with the actions, routines and practices that make up lifetime memories, habits and character," says Laura Gauld, author and head of Hyde School. "It is never too late to start a family tradition and often the value of these actions is seen looking back at one’s upbringing."
In this podcast, she covers the first 5 mantras for Parenting Fundamental #3 - Build Family Traditions (#41-45):
One of the mantras Laura Gauld discusses with us in today’s podcast is “don’t lie, don’t quit.” This is a great lesson for kids and adults and a very simple thing to remember. If I’m off track in my life, I won’t lie about it and I won’t give up. I can imagine our kids remembering this mantra when they are adults if they hear it often enough from us, and probably repeating it to their kids. (See below for all the mantras in today’s podcast.)
There are other great tidbits and lots of helpful information in this conversation, as we wrap up the lessons for our second parenting fundamental: Raise children to be accountable to life.
"Why do we have kids wanting to shoot up a school?"
This is the question Joe Gauld, founder of The Hyde School in Bath, Maine, asks at the beginning of this podcast. Thus starts his explanation of looking at a deeper lesson in the Florida School schooting, rather than just a band aid solution to our national crises of school shootings.
“Develop a safe place or sanctuary,” Joe proposes, “that will allow students to trust that teachers see the best in them and want the best for them. Then let the school be student-centered, based on the character development of each individual as well as the academic development of the kids. In this way we will begin to get rid of the resentment and bullying that has happened as a result of focusing totally on achievement.”
There is a lot of wisdom in what Joe shares with us on this podcast. You can see his full article in the Portland Press Herald: https://www.pressherald.com/2018/02/22/maine-voices-laser-focus-on-each-students-unique-potential-to-make-schools-safe-sanctuaries-of-learning/
Are you worried about a teen who says they are depressed? Do you see anxiety in your teen? Do you find vagueness a part of yours or your teen’s communication?
In part two of our podcast series with Hilary Jacobs Hendel, we learn about what to do if a teen says they are depressed or if they exhibit anxiety. Hilary talks about the importance of roots and wings for our children, the difference between healthy and unhealthy shame in parenting, and why families fall into vagueness as a defense in their communication with one another.
Can you laugh at yourself during some tough parenting moments? Sounds like an oxymoron, doesn’t it? It is possible, says Laura Gauld in our 7th podcast interview in which she shares with us more wisdom from Parenting Fundamental #2: Raise children to be accountable to life.
Laura also shares with us the necessity of teaching our children to delay gratification, and the importance of teaching them how to work.